It has been a long winter. Let’s laugh!
A woman walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk hands her 13. “That’s one too many” says the customer. “Oh, that is a freebie!” replies the clerk.
A man was standing in a line at his bank. An elderly lady in front of him asked if he could help her check her balance. So he pushed her. She fell over.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He is in Neverland
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda!
What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
What rhymes with orange No- it doesn’t
My boss told me to have a good day- so I went home.
A little girl finally got to attend a wedding for the first time. While in the church, the girl asked her mother: “Why is the bride dressed in white?” The mother replied to the girl: “because white is the color of happiness and it’s the happiest day of her life today.” After a little bit, the girl looks up at her mother and says: “But, then why is the groom wearing black?
I was talking to my father the other day and he’s getting quite elderly now. He said to me, “You know, when you get as old as me you start to spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.” “Why do you say that?” I asked him. He said, “Well nowadays I’m always going into a room and then stopping and thinking what did I come in here after?”
True stories
During her retirement, my mother loved to play golf. Her friend, Edie, would pick her up in her car and off they would go to the golf course. One day, Edie said to my mom, “I can’t see colors anymore. You will have to tell me if the stoplight is red or green.” My mother drove after that.
The Davis Cup is an international tennis competition for men between countries. One year, the United States played Ecuador in Ecuador. The Americans would hear the score called incorrectly in favor of Ecuador. The Americans would approach the umpire’s chair to ask the score be corrected. The umpire would say he called the score accurately. The score was called incorrectly again and as the exasperated Americans were arguing at the umpires chair, they heard,”30 love”. They looked up into a tree next to the court. A parrot was repeatedly calling a random score.
Years ago, the New York Yankees were in town to play the Minnesota Twins. After the game, many players on the team wanted to go to Murrays steak house for dinner. The Yankees catcher, Yogi Berra said, “No. Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded!”.
The Bible makes it clear that we are created in God’s image. It stands to reason that there is laughing in Heaven. Do you think there are jokes?
“Why did the chicken cross the road?” would be “Why did the chicken cross the universe?”
Do you think there are comedy nights? The routines could go like this.
What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Answer: He was Ruthless.
Both a priest and a taxi driver died and were resurrected. St. Peter was waiting for them at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter motioned to the taxi driver, ‘Come with me.’ The taxi driver followed St Peter to a mansion as instructed. It had everything imaginable, from a bowling alley to an Olympic-sized pool. ‘Oh my word, thank you,’ the taxi driver said. St. Peter then led the priest to a house with a bunk bed and an old television set. “Wait, I think you’re a little confused,” the priest said. “Shouldn’t it be me who gets the mansion?’ After all, I was a priest who went to church every day and preached the word of God.” “That is correct. But during your sermons, people slept,” St Peter countered. “Everyone prayed as the taxi driver drove.”( I chose priest out of respect for Kevin.)
A scientist went to God and said triumphantly, “We’ve worked out how to make a man without you.” God laughed and said, “Okay then, show me. Go ahead…” So the scientist bent down and picked up a handful of dirt but God stopped him. “Oh no you don’t.” said God. “Get your own dirt.”
A man is praying to God one day and asks, “How long is a million years?” To his surprise God answers, saying “To me, it’s about one minute.” The man then asks, “God, how much is one million dollars?” and God replies, “To me, it’s a penny.” The man thinks and then asks, “God, may I have a penny?” God replies, “Wait a minute.”
Maybe the most curious question is how does God sound when he laughs?
If it is a big, belly laugh, would it shake the universe?
Jesus does want us to have joy in our lives. Laughter is part of that.
John 15:11 “I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow.”
John 16:24 “You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and have abundant joy.”
I understand joy is different than laughing. It is even better.